Money Beliefs Are Inherited...And You Have Control Over Them
Money beliefs. What are they and where do they come from?
My late Grandmother was an amazing person. She loved to tell us stories of her life. World War II broke out when she was a young girl, disrupting her school. However, she never stopped learning. She taught herself to read and she read the newspapers every day (until her eyesight failed her).
When she was a young teenager, she helped her family to rear chickens and pigs. She worked hard from early morning to night. When she was a young adult, she worked for a British family as a cleaner. She used to tell me how she would rather walk long distances to work than spend money on the bus fare. She loved to work hard and saved every penny she had.
"You have to work hard for your money. Always do your best. Don't waste money."
My grandma’s words still ring in my ears until today.
Her beliefs had passed on to me through her stories and actions. These had been instilled into my values and belief system too. I enjoy working and I love making money. But boy, I do hate to waste money.
I teach about abundance and money mindset as a finance coach. I teach my students how to be aware of their money beliefs and shift limiting beliefs into empowering ones.
However, I am still discovering and observing when my own money belief system gets triggered.
Last year, I relocated from one country to another in Asia. We were moving from a house to an apartment with less space again. We wanted to do a big decluttering exercise before the move.
Just discarding or giving things randomly away just didn’t feel right for me. I spent a lot of time and effort finding new owners for the things that we decided to let go. I sold many things on the second hand market. I realised that to me, the selling process was not about “getting back as much money as I can” but rather, to find the right owners for my stuff so that my things are “not wasted”.
For example, if I knew that my friends or my helpers really wanted certain specific items, I would gladly put these things aside and give it to them. In fact, I’m very happy to know that my things will be loved and used by people that I know.
Can you relate to what I’m saying here?
If yes, that’s because we have a similar belief system. If not, that’s because we don’t have a similar belief system. Either way, it’s perfectly fine! Our belief systems influence our behaviour and how we react in different situations.
Another incident that triggered me recently was when I decided to go to a celebrity hairstylist (read expensive) and try a new haircut. I walked in without checking the prices and all I can say is that the price of my haircut at the end was way, way higher than my expectations.
After having the most expensive haircut in my life, I felt a sense of panic and discomfort. I had to calm myself down and see what’s going on in my head.
“That was not worth the money!”
“You wasted so much money!”
My belief system of “not wasting money” was beeping.
Now, I had to let my logical brain speak to my limiting belief.
Thank you for trying to protect me and wanting to save money. I am fine. I have more than enough money to afford this haircut. However, thank you for this good reminder. Spending this much money on my hair is something I had not experienced before and I will reconsider more carefully in future.
So why did I choose to go to one of the top hair stylist in the country for a haircut?
I wanted to practice doing something different, I wanted to push boundaries of abundance and allow myself a new experience. If I don’t try it, I will never know.
So the takeaways that I wish to share with you are:
Your beliefs and value system can be inherited (consciously or subconsciously), from people who have an influence on you. Similarly, you will be passing on your money beliefs and values to the next generations. Are you happy with your money belief system?
Your beliefs and value system serve to protect you and provide you with an identity. However, if they hold you back, limiting beliefs can be changed.
Stretch your abundance mindset and practice “allowing”. Allow yourself new experiences as you continue to grow and develop. Only when you let go of the old, can you embrace the new (both mindset and stuff!).
After I settled my nerves eventually, I went back to the same celebrity stylist a few more times. I realised that a good haircut did make a difference. My hair grew out perfectly and I didn’t need to go for a haircut as often. Since I had a bob hairstyle previously, I used to had to go for a regular haircut every month to keep its shape. A good haircut actually translated to a lot of time saved (since each haircut lasted longer)!
An interesting observation is that for the subsequent times that I went back to the “expensive” hair salon, the same bill didn’t shock my belief system as much and the cognitive dissonance is much less. All I can say is that a new money belief and boundary has been set!
Do you have similar experiences to share? One where you felt your money belief was triggered or one where you managed to stretch your abundance mindset? I would love to hear from you. Do share in the comments below.